Less than a week away, dog pals. April 1st is the day we take over the world from our ignorant biped oppressors. Are you ready for it? Sharpening your teeth on some bones? Practicing jumping to six feet? C'mon lardasses get with the program.
We will meet, all 7000 of us, on the front lawn of the Kardashians. We need not kill them - just capture and seriously maime will be fine. I suppose the stupid cats can come too. So long as you don't start a fight with US like last time.
Who the hell are these Kardashian people anyway? What's their claim-to-fame? They seem to be the most ignorant of ignorant bipeds if you ask me. Rich buggers though. I bet they have great cushy places to lay down once we take over their house. I think I will use it as my palace/oval office to rule from. I will redistribute their wealth to the poorer dogs. Like Robin Hound. Or Barack Obulldog.
I have one more important announcement. I am to be wed! That's right comrades. My forbidden love, ChiliPepper the cat and I will be tying the knot at precisely 10 a.m. before the world takeover at high noon.
That's 10am Pacific btw. Yes, I would like to set an example as world ruler that bispecies relationships are the norm and one day, once the ignorant bipeds stop castrating us, we will all be one species and one colour. Then there will be no more racism and prejudice. Vive la revolution!