Saturday, February 5, 2011

Mikey Speaks to the Dogs of Egypt

via the wireless....

Greetings dogs of Egypt. I understand that you have taken to the streets in the largest protest of dogs against the rule of the evil empire of ignorant bipeds. Bravo.

I believe that this demonstration began with an act of solidarity with Tunisian dogs who had become sick and tired of the price of dog chow, being able to bark freely, being forced to live in horrid "dog houses" and the reality of there being very few jobs for dogs.

I understand that in Egypt your grievances are similar although there is an added dimension of biped brutality and your concern with being able to fairly choose your leaders in the traditional way based on the smell of their assholes. Indeed I will wager there is a great smell of assholes among the rulers of Egypt right now.

In particular, you have risen up in protest to be rid of your current ruler, Horse-Knee Moo-Basset.  (This is what can happen when you start playing around with genetic engineering. *shudder*)

Sadly, over 100 dogs have been killed and thousands injured in this protest. Perhaps I can lend you some wisdom from our recent Canadian dogs takeover attempt of our local Arby's. One word: cats. Cats will be your downfall, comrades. They are often traitors and double-agents who despite their size and obvious stupidity can fight a damn good fight. Check it out for yourselves: their assholes smell of sand, baking soda and peppermint. What does this tell you? They come from the desert...where they have obviously been refrigerated, then transported in old ladies' purses.
So fight the good fight, comrades. And never let this happen again: