Monday, January 3, 2011

Mikey's Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

1.      Eat an unbalanced diet – include 5-8 servings of squirrel per day
2.      Pray less–Dog Almighty seems to be no help in bringing about the end of the biped world
3.      Work more – focus energies on tasks at hand such as building up DOGFORCE – minus the stupid cats
4.      Give up on too much exercise: after chasing small round prey object at great length, sleep for at least six hours.
5.      Spend less time with the pack (of complete morons): Dumbass, Shithead and Lardball Cat.
6.      Escape – devise a plan to end this jailed oppression, tethering on walks and rationed food
7.      Eat more treats – there’s gotta be a way to get into that cupboard when they’re at work.
8.      Travel less.  See #4.
9.      Computer time – spend more. Twitter, the blog, maybe get a Facebook account
10.  Overthrow the world.