The cone of shame

Shoutin' out to my buddies from the movie Up for that awesome name for it.

So first of all, I just wanna say to my good friend and trusted daily den-mate and companion, Guinness, aka Dumbass:

Hahahahahahahha! Ahahaha! Ah-hahaha Ah-hahaha Ah-hoo A-hee A-hoo-hee. Okay, okay. I'm alright. It's just - aaaaaa......hahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhaa!!! hahahahahahhahahaa! OMD you look so ridiculous! Hahahahahahha....Dog, my sides hurt....Owwww my stomach muscles!.....

Oh my frickin' dog that is just so pfffft...moo-ahahahahahahhahahha! ..... *snort*...I'm trying to update my blog here and I just keep ROFL. Literally rolling on the floor...on my back....with my..... hahahahahahahhaaa....legs....in the....hahahahahahahahhahaha....air. They're pedaling now! My legs are pedaling like I'm a frickin' biped! Do they make pedal machines for quads? A quadracyle? What would that look like? ......not as funny as this:

Hahahahahahahhahaa Oh geez I'm completely losin' it! Every time I get up off the floor and look over I see you in that ridiculous co-ho-ho-ho-hone of sh-sh-sh-sh-aaaamehahahaha! Ahahahahaha! I think I've laughed my ass off. Let's see. I can't find my ass! Round and round I go in circles looking for my ass. I do believe I've laughed it right off! Lassie-Mary-and-Joseph-and-Rin-Tin-Tin my ass is gone. Hahahahahahah! Oooohoohooohoohoo! I'm dizzy as hell now. I'll just fall over on my side then and try to rest here.

Nope I can still see youhahahahahahaha! Oh Dumbass you are absolutely hystericalhahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahhahaa! Forget it! Forget it! I can't possibly blog like this...*waves paw in the air* ... Teeheehee. Teeheehee. Teeheeheeheeheehee wahahahaHA!

A-hahahahahahahahaha! Oh I'm cryin'! I'm cryin' like a puppy. Tears runnin' down my nose now. Maybe I'll lick 'em off my paws. Hey Dumbass check it out! I'm lickin' my paws! Hahahahahahahaha! Har har har har har! *cough* *cough* *cough*haahahahahaha *cough* *cough* *cough*....ugh....I may puke now... heeheehee....haha...hahahathat'sfunnytoo.....hahahahahaha......

Notice to all of Mikey's blog readers:
Unfortunately MikeyTheBrat is indisposed and not able to update his blog this week. If he's not still laughing by next weekend, check back for an update.
~10555

OMD! Mikey's puppy porn

Notice to all ignorant bipeds: If you forget this blog's URL, just search for it using the word "porn." Especially "puppy porn." It will make your computers run better.

*rubs paws together* mwahahaha

*shakes jowls to get images out of head*

Now they've really done it. I, the mighty Mikey, have been exploited and humiliated in front of my peers. The ignorant bipeds have somehow gotten a hold of my puppy picture and spread it all over the internet. Yes, NAKED PUPPY PORN!

What a schmuck! What's that? Fat? FAT???? Look a-hole, it's called....

Water-boarding

Comrades, when we finally stage the revolt and take over the world from the ignorant bipeds I will stand by this campaign promise: there will be no more baths! Not for us anyway. But those bipeds whom we do not obliterate we shall throw into a tub of soap and hold down until they whimper like puppies. See how they like it.

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon on the west coast of British Columbia.  The sun was shining, the squirrels were running to and fro, and Dumbass and Shithead were sleeping unawares. In other words, there were many tasks before me. I was plotting strategy on the couch:

Yes, that's what I said, "plotting strategy." I know it looks like I was sleeping.

Immediately I was awoken...I mean startled....from my resting place with the bald lardass biped chirping some sounds that seemed to me like an offer of food, outdoor fun or toys to destroy. He was smiling and beckoning me upstairs: "Bla bla bla? Bla bla Mikey bla bla? C'mon! bla bla bla bla! Bla?"

I stupidly followed him into the trap........