While I don't understand the biped gods I do understand their concept of Satan. The Evil One who comes in many forms, luring creatures to do despicable things so that they will be rewarded in the afterlife by being made kings of the underworld. What's that you're saying? .... umhmmm......so you're saying if Satan is fully evil then a system of rewards does not follow reasonably. Okay, so....well....wow, that does sound pretty evil.....
Anyhow....this cat is fucking SATAN and needs to be nookin' obliterated with a lightning bolt by Dog Almighty. Here are the top ten reasons why:
9. He's RED with creepy red horns.
Okay, so they look blue in this picture, but....
7. He's CROSS-EYED then. YA! And so is Satan. Yes, he is, don't argue with me.
6. He has a TAIL. (Don't say it)
5. From time to time, he carries around a big FORK. No shit. What?....no, I don't have a picture of that. Well, just because. I....I didn't have my camera with me that day.
4. He refuses to drink out of the toilet (how creepy and disgusting is that?)
3. He has been captured on camera luring the ignorant biped bitch, sucking her in with his evil ways:
2. He keeps a piece of the desert in his own den....in the form of a box of sand....just in case that Jesus guy comes back and needs to be tempted again to take over the world.
1. But the # 1 reason this cat is Satan: He changes his FORM. Just the other day when the ignorant bipeds weren't around I caught him morphing into this:
Those from the United States of Ignorant Bipeds would be more likely to relate to this form:
To keep the Evil One from entering your den, join with me in a hymn to Dog Almighty entitled:
Guide Me O Thou German Shepherd
Guide me O Thou German Shepherd
Pilgrim through this martial law
I am weak, but thou art mighty
Hold me with thy powerful paw
Kibble of heaven, kibble of heaven
Feed me 'til I want no more!
Feed me 'til I want no more.