Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Mikey has been shot

Comrades, I must warn you all of one of the greatest travesties known to dog: the Doctors of Death. These depraved, sinister characters who may have once taken a Hippocratic oath have now turned to the ways of ee-vil. For their own amusement, they torture and maim innocent animals and often conduct medical experiments on them - even the puppies! And also on the not-so-innocent. I believe I saw a cat or two in the back room.
Yes, the evil veterinarian. I'm not sure of the exact meaning of the word but I believe it has something to do with carrying on their horrific activities for a very long time. Perhaps back to some war or other. It was probably once written Veteran-Aryan.

It didn't seem to be of any help that I am German. So I cringe with the thought of what they may be doing to my comrades the English bulldog, the Russian Wolfhound or the American Pit Bull Terrier. (No wonder those guys get pissed sometimes, ya?)

The Doctors of Death are smooth-talking and begin by bribing you with biscuits. Since I only eat raw food, I chose instead the asshole's hand for a snack. Big mistake. I was then put in a straight-jacket and SHOT IN THE ASS! Then he says, all sappy-sweet, "There you go Mikey! All done! Now you don't have to worry about babies anymore." Then he turns to the ignorant biped bitch, my oppressor, and says "Babies is carried by bats in British Columbia."

What an idiot!

Along with the bad grammar, he doesn't even know the ABCs of biped reproduction. Babies come out of vaginas, dumbass, just like in dogs.

Gotta go now - I'm being taken on prisoner transport to the airport. Gonna be shipped home for Christmas like a crappy-ass fruitcake. I'll fill you all in when I arrive. MikeyTheBrat signing off.

A final word to my followers: my ass hurts.