Saturday, July 17, 2010

Oh Shit-z-hund!

This past week has entailed a major setback in my plans. One of my biped oppressors (the bitch) is now at home in our den 24/7. She apparently quit her day-job to become "a writer." ROTFBMAO!

Despite her futile attempt at making a living doing this, her presence nevertheless makes it all-the-more difficult to plot the ignorant bipeds' demise.  Equally impossible now are many of my leisure activities such as: jump the fence, beat up Dumbass, chew camera lenses, terrorize cats, dig holes or even so much as look at the preschool kids in the field behind the fence - let alone drool over them while wearing a large bib and brandishing a knife and fork. Geez....those bipeds are testy!

To make matters worse...
...the ignorant bipeds have decided that it would be "good for me" if the biped bitch takes me to Schutzhund training. "You'll meet other German Shepherds, Mikey - it'll be fun!" says the hairless lardass biped. Other German Shepherds? Fun? OMD! "Other German Shepherds" means one thing to me: Dumbass. She is an utter disgrace to the canine species. The biped moves, she moves. The biped stops, she stops. The biped calls, she comes. She walks stuck to the biped's left side like ugly on an appendectomy, eyes on her eyes, feet stupidly prancing giving her the appearance of an anorexic Clydesdale. It would be one thing if she were rewarded with say, a side of beef, a flock of chickens or even a very small midget for her efforts but no....all she gets is the biped jumping around like a retard clapping her hands, patting her head, playing with her and squealing "Good girl Guinness!" I shit you not. And Dumbass responds in kind. The retard kind. This is an example of the fun they want me to have? Good frickin' luck.

I will keep you posted.

Mikeythebrat signing off.

                                       ME                                      Dumbass