Friday, May 28, 2010


The ignorant bipeds are out of the den, apparently "working." They leave dumbass and I to guard the den. The female biped says "You behave yourself Mikey. Be nice to Guinness!" Stupid bitch. Not the biped. Guinness. aka Dumbass.  She picks her favorite spot on the chesterfield - perched where she can launch a frontal attack on me of licking and tail-wagging. I have tried to destroy her but this brings great punishment by my oppressors. Honestly, what I must daily endure comrades! We must swiftly achieve an end to this!

So far I have 494 followers. I was hoping for a million, but I'm not sure how long I can stand it under the oppressive biped rule. What's the point in life if a dog cannot be a dog and do what we all love best:...
...chasing cats, birds, squirrels and very small bipeds then capturing them and eating them. I personally would start with the cats but now I see that seven or eight cats have fallen into our ranks so I may have to rethink this.

494 eh? It could work. However, if we all meet in the field behind my den there could be a problem with the seven or eight cats.

Uh-oh. Dumbass just ate a clump of grass on the mat. She'll be tossin' the kibble soon. Gotta go.