Friday, September 17, 2010

Jowl-shaking month - 10409

Comrades! I have been through hell and high kibble the past few weeks and thus my tardiness in updating the blog. At one point, I was deprived of computer privileges for 2 weeks. There has been much torture.

First, I was taken by prisoner transport for 3 days to Edmonton, Alberta. As expected, I was chained and caged for the trip. For some reason Dumbass and Shithead got to stay with the yuppie biped cuz they're "easy to handle." This is true. And it's because they're dumbass tail-wagging dolts. Whatever.

I was allowed some freedoms on the 3-day trip. Got to sleep in some hotel beds and ... Twizzlers at night. We hiked up to a glacier in Jasper although I wasn't allowed to guard the lake from the ignorant European-tourist bipeds. Geesh!

Once in Edmonton I was set free to run and play and to appease me and/or mess with my head I got to chase these evil monsters:

Evil because...did you know they can go a kick-ass speed then make an abrupt right turn? Why...a dog could go flying forward then just ...stop and look around like he was...a dumb idiot...

Of course I'm not talking about ME. But I had that this happened to.

Yes I have friends.

No reason to tell you their names...

After 2 weeks of runnng free I was shoved back into a cage and loaded onto a giant metal flying bird. The experience generally sucked, all but the perk of getting to scare the bejesus out of every baggage handler that spoke to me. I would lie in wait, looking fuzzy and adorable. Then they'd approach the cage, talking ridiculous puppy-talk to me. Then I'd cutely turn my head to the side (ya, ya...that really gets 'em) and then...charge at the cage door bearing giant teeth and barking. HAHAHAHAHA! Hilarious! The pitbull in the next crate over and I were taking wagers as to how many of them we could get to soil themselves. I won, btw...that pitbull owes me four dead squirrels.